In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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