Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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