I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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