One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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