I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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