OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize