hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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