And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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