i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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