her vagine was all disorganized.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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