I got chris browned last night
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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