i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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