I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize