after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The ass gains better be worth it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize