Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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