you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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