I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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