I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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