he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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