Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize