your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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