That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize