I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I want is dick and wine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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