now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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