So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This toilet bowl is my home.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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