I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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