if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize