Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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