Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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