he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize