Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
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How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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