Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
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I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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