But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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