party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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