He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I stole a fireplace last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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