I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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