I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize