If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
what day is it and did you see me today?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize