Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize