I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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