ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize