My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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