Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize