You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize