so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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