i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
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Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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