Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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