To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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