one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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