I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
His nipple licking is glorious
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